Three years ago today something terrifying happened, but it has changed my life in ways I never imagined possible. Just a little flash back in time....
It was November 16th, 2012......It was another hectic day in the office. I got a call around 2 or so at my desk. It showed up as a call from the front desk, and the associate on the line told me that it was an emergency call. My first thought....my son. It was my Mom's ex telling me to get the hospital right away. He told me that my Mom needed a family member there to authorize emergency surgery, and that she had a tumor on her brain.
I hung up the phone and could barely breathe. I remember my Senior RM and DRM looking at me and asking if I was ok. I felt like all of the air had been sucked out of my lungs. I explained to them what was going on through my tears. They told me to call Thomas, so that he could drive me to the hospital, because I was way to emotional to be behind the wheel of a car. I took my phone out of my purse and my heart sank even further. I had several missed calls and text messages from family members I hadn't seen in months, maybe even years. I decided earlier that day to put my phone in my purse so that it didn't distract me. Out of all of the days I decided to do this, today....really?? I frantically called Thomas and he made his way to the office.
I remember standing in the WM home office parking lot crying and trying to call my brother, uncle, and other family members. I didn't know what to do. I hadn't seen or talked to my Mom in nearly a year. My heart was breaking, because I was terrified that I was about to lose my Mom. The moment Thomas picked me up and the drive to Siloam were a blur. I believe Thomas' parents picked up Z, but I can't remember. We got to the hospital and my Nana, cousin Brea, and several family members from Chris' side were there. They comforted me and let me know that my mom did NOT need emergency surgery, but she did have a seizure and she wasn't very responsive.
It was a very long and tearful night. I couldn't leave my Mom's side. There was a chair in the room, and I decided to stay in there with her. I remember her moaning in pain during the night. Every now and then I went over and grabbed her hands and told her that I loved her. I didn't really know what was going on. I couldn't get information from the doctors or nurses, because of privacy laws. They said they couldn't tell me anything unless my Mom gave authorization. I understood, but I was so frustrated. Is she ok? Why did she have a seizure? Who brought her here? Sometime in evening they asked my Mom and she said that it was ok. What I found out broke my heart. I don't think it is fair to my Mom to go into the details, because it is in the past and those pieces aren't important and do not define my Mom. Let's just say she was lucky to be alive.
That next morning I was able to talk to my Mom. I remember her being very upset and scared. We didn't get a lot of information from the hospital, and had a lot of unanswered questions. We knew that she had an infection in her heart and that there was a spot on her brain that they weren't too sure about.
My Mom's plan was to go stay with my Nana. We both knew that she couldn't go back to the place she had left. I was terrified that if she went to my Nana's she would just end up going back, because Nana didn't live too far away from the bad place. There was always some magnetic force that attracted my Mom to that lifestyle, and I didn't understand why. So, I silently prepared myself to get ready to watch her go back into the darkness.
The doctor told us that my Mom would have to come in every day for six weeks for medicine. They diagnosed her with endocarditis, and they told us that they needed to examine the cyst on her brain. I couldn't see how my Nana and Mom would be able to make it to Siloam every day for my Mom's medicine, and it gave me a little hope that my Mom might come stay with me.
I talked to my Mom about staying with Thomas, Z and I. I told her that she would have her own room, and that she wouldn't have to worry about being close to the darkness. I had talked to Thomas about it a little, but nothing prepared me for the moment when my Mom agreed to come stay with us. I sent Thomas a text and told him that my Mom was coming to stay with us, and his response was, "ok". I felt nauseous......what the heck did I just sign up for? Was Thomas just "ok" with my decision, was he going to be mad at me? I love my Mom, but I am about to bring an addict into my house with my son and husband. Am I doing the right thing? What am I thinking?
Well, we made it home. It felt weird, but I was so glad that my Mom was safe and ok. I don't think Thomas or myself were prepared for the amazing journey we were about to be a part of. My Mom gave her life to God and started going to church with us. She made me want to go to church more. I can't explain how if feels to have my Mom worshipping the Lord next to me during church. I feel bad for saying this, but 3 years ago I never thought things would be like this. God proved me wrong and I am so glad that He did. He proved to me that NOTHING is impossible. My Mom's journey is a miracle. It is amazing.
She has 4 wonderful grandkids who call her Memaw, and I know she is thankful to be in their lives. Over the last three years she has fought through the loss of her Mom, seizures, fears, and changes. She got to live in Oklahoma by her brother for a few months, with my brother and his family in California for over a year, and is back in Arkansas! I am so glad that she is back, because I missed her. Thanks to my Uncle Ricky and his family for taking care of her in Oklahoma, and thanks to my brother, Shane, and his family for taking care of her in California. I love all of you SO much!!
So, today we celebrate 3 years free from the chains of addiction with my Mom. I am a slacker and didn't plan a party or make a cake, but I want her to know that this day is still VERY special to all of us. She celebrates on the 16th of every month, because she is so thankful for her new life. You can see all of her Facebook posts around the 16th of each month that say how many months she has been clean. It always makes me smile.
I pray that I never take my Mom or her life change for granted. I also pray for those who are struggling with addiction or who have family or friends who struggle. Let me tell you this.....with God ANYTHING is possible. Believe in miracles, don't stop praying, never doubt, and stay strong.
Thanks for stopping by. :) Here are a few pictures that highlight my Mom's journey.